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the parking lot crusader of truth

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this isn't fun anymore [13 Oct 2013|04:19pm]
when did i become such a liar? why have i put myself in the situation where i have to actually monitor my actions and how i am perceived in public? whatever happened to the krista that was just inherently good? aren't i just ruining fun for me? i feel like i may have missed out on something really good in life because i can't be more truthful to people.

It is something i can't seem to bring myself to talk to anybody about yet, and it's suffocating me.
be elusive, but don`t walk far

[14 Oct 2011|01:21am]
oh hai, livejournal. facebook is so cold and surface. are you still alive?
ack, feelings of inadequacy, why do i dabble in things that really never work for me. i don't do "relationships". especially 3-way relationships. you can have each other . ew.

i need to step away from these things. i am happy i wasn't born blind, i think. but then, my blind friend says he feels so sorry for this girl with cerebral palsy before realizing that she is probably perfectly happy and doesn't need his pity.

need to tear myself away from passive consumption of safe narratives. need to not become complacent. what happened to my motivation? it's easier when it is for someone else, and that makes me upset.
4 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

[08 Dec 2010|06:08pm]
I have become a hermit. i am trying to play the odds and not leave my house to get randomly shot at.

But I will use Teflon pots which are more likely to kill me.

oops slept until 1630 today.

Going to dye -my white shirt turned to grey- black tonight with my scratched up Teflon pot.

Guilt is kicking in finally over a year after i started being an uncivil insect person. I am reassessing my outlook with all of this bloody time on my hands at home. and cleaning my room. and entropy has already taken care of that...it has returned to its usual state just about.

I need to get out of here. how did Descartes not go crazy locked up in a room for a year or whatever? he was lying! nobody would do this to themselves...i've only been doing this for a couple weeks.

been watching bloody 80s cartoons that made me happy then!
3 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

[15 Oct 2010|10:09pm]
livejournal , i know facebook is probably killing you in a slow and painful way, but how do you go back to older friend's posts? I can only see the last 15 or so, and so can't even see into September...
3 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

[15 Oct 2010|09:57pm]
[ mood | restless ]

Stupidly was reading up on Enola Gay and also looking at portraits from the New Objectivity paintings (Dix and Grosz drew/painted lots of war veterans with fucked up faces because of the war), causing sense of impending doom, as I left the Wilson library, I followed the bike path that goes past the Mill City Ruins (and in a sidenote, I can't believe that there are still giant pieces of mangled steel from the 35W bridge collapse along West River Parkway.)
Then I got to North Minneapolis. warehouses. and steel factories and desolation, and really thought i tortured myself enough for today and turned around. back home, eating curry and salad, drinking coffee, spend $18 on art supplies yesterday, that I should have saved for my Chicago trip coming up...
Chicago on the 24th! I'd like to go to the Art Institute for Francis Bacon paintings...actually I had taken up oil painting because of him...then, wander the "town" aimlessly, and mostly for the Gary Numan show on the 26th...it's the Pleasure Principle tour...I need to figure out something to toss (throwing is too violent) at Mr. Numan....like lingerie. or a car. i don't know.

2 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

from vogdoid! [10 Jul 2010|11:49pm]
Cities I've lived in and number of addresses i've lived at in that city:

1. Cavalier, ND (1)
2. Apple Valley, MN (4)
3. Burnsville, MN (1)
4. Minneapolis, MN (7)

Shortest stay: about 7 months in downtown
Longest stay: 9 years
Smallest property: my Centennial Hall dormroom...but I quite liked it.
Largest property: When my family and I lived on a man-made lake in Apple Valley before my parents got divorced, which is why every other place I lived with my mom or dad has been small ever since.
Roommates: Jeni, Kristina, Adrienne, Tom, Emily, Gab, Tiff, Josh, Julie, Joanie, Amelia, Allie, Ryan/Medea, Kayla, Laura.
Cars: two.
Bikes: four.
Pets: 8 cats. a few hamsters.
Beach access: probably.
Transit access: i used the bus a ton in AV, but that only got me to the malls. and lots o minneapolis.
Restaurant access: um. lots.
Favorite property details: Jenny's shaggy green yellow carpet in her bedroom in Cavalier. We moved from there in '87. I had met my best friend at our first AV home while we were playing in the backyard, we were best friends for yeeears. I loved our yuppie house on Lac Lavon but that will probably be the biggest place i'll ever live in. I'll always look back fondly on the Prospect Park house, and I miss my Dinkytown apartment all the time, but i didn't fit in in dinkytown anymore, i was never at my bloody downtown apt since i spent too much time with a boyfriend, and regret this, and i hated my corcoran house because it was unbearably messy. powderhorn is alright, but i don't know where to go next.
Problems: cockroaches in downtown, bad karaoke across the street every other night in dinkytown..smells coming from al's breakfast at 6 in the morning where bad, a shooting on the other side of the street, leaks in ceilings, crazy landlady...
7 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

[10 Jul 2010|11:00pm]
gah I miss livejournal. will you guys take me back?
4 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

i got stuck with the lame superpowers. [31 Jul 2009|01:24pm]
woke up to a fly or something of the like stuck in my hair. that was a first to catch one while i'm not actually moving, but just to ensure i disgust some of you, I catch winged bugs about once a week in my hair when i am on my bike or even walking. the first time i recall it happening, i was walking home listening to my headphones and heard this rather loud repeating beating sound, and thought it was my tape player acting up. so i turned that off, and still heard this beating noise, and thought, 'oh cool, another pair of headphones bite the dust' and took those off but the sound was still there. Then I thought it was emanating from the house i was walking past, but realized the sound was just as loud as i kept walking, and had a freakout moment where i said 'ok now is the time where my brain or ears are bad and i have some fatal disease?' ...then i realized the sound may have resembled the sound of a dragonfly moving its wings.so then i in a panic wipe this bug out of my hair. i never saw it. i never do, i wipe them out and they are gone (hopefully). i can't find any bug guts in my hair later. i'm not such a good vegetarian, since i have hair that eats bugs, but i'm just trying to give the spiders a rest from all that bugcatching. my hair is a spiderweb in essence.

and kayla cut one of my dreads in half yesterday. once you cut one open, it is kinda like Body Worlds. everytime i make someone cut one of my dreads in half, they make an uncomfortable noise while they are doing it, and i say 'what does it look like?' and they can never describe it, say i have to see it, but i cannot see the back of my head. and i say 'what color is it?' and they cannot describe that either. a color that has never been seen before so therefore has no name? how lovecraftian of my disgusting hair. i realized i have had the same bottles of aveda shampoo and conditioner since october 2007. what the fuck is my problem?: i have a condition where i experience the passage of time at a much faster rate than you. i have learned to compensate for this condition by talking infinitely slower so you can hear me, but a 33 day period for you feels like 3 days to me. this accounts for not having anything to show for this life and having a blank persona. if experience precedes essence, i am still awaiting that experience. my to do list is half of a notebook long. therefore it only crosses my mind to wash my hair once every ten days, and i have the ability to stay at a job for 3 years (wait, it is more than 3.5 since i thought of it) with the intention of trying all the 30 darjeelings there in this time, and maybe having half (1000 days of darjeeling and puerh neglect). and i will stop and think of how i have been listening to the same 3 records in my tape player for a year now. what is this: 1.5% of my life listening to the same music assuming i actually live to be 75.

This is Joanie (1petal) at my favorite restaurant Little T's.
7 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

[23 Jul 2009|04:50pm]
omg,i just realized i have photoshop still. i will be playing with contrast/brightness and threshold for stencils.midlifecrisis.

p.s. the spacebar is not working on my computer very well anymore :(

woke up with a package at my door of cds and t-shirts from paul robb. this made me sooo happy.
1 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

calluses and canada [14 Jul 2009|10:39am]
i am building 3 calluses on my fingers. Two from riding Kayla's bike (I really like mine better. hers is one of those luxury bikes with shock absorption and cushiony bikeseats for fat asses like my own... i like my bike to be more cold and less loving. like my men) alas, my bike's brake cables broke (luckily this was discovered whilst going uphill, gawd, that could have sucked otherwise) and her bike doesn't have that trashy moldy foam on the handles (which i like, cuz i like my handlebars like my men, trashy)

eleanor moves to toronto tomorrow for grad school, maria moved to milwaukee 2 weeks ago, and then she is off to prague for an indefinite amount of time (something about needing to get away from mpls). tryouts for replacement close friends tomorrow. help.

found the book _Die neuen Leiden des jungen W._ (_the new sufferings/sorrows of young W._) for a dollar yesterday. this book is so adolescent. it is a remake of Goethe's _The Sorrows of Young Werther_ that takes place when it was written (in the 70s.) i read the enlish translation when i was still a teenager. but, i am certain it is still a good story (and will hopefully help me learn german), and anything that pays homage to _the sorrows of young werther_ deserves the time of day. please read goethe's _the sorrows of young werther_. you'll be confused how a 200 year old novel could capture teenage angst better than john hughes and salinger.

saw vnv nation with jeni and trace last wednesday. going to slim cessna friday.

Came home to discover more bikes at the Playboy Suicide Mansion. :D

Joanie and I can finally go biking together

My simulated old school INSOC shirt (i hate tshirts made after, like 1991). so that is how i got a callus: from making lots o' stencils with an X-Acto blade without the X-Acto knife. cuz i'm punk.. or unable to find my knife.

Axl Rose walked in my room to try on a labcoat? no, that's my sleeping mask. axl rose came in to wear my sleeping mask.

thank you for not moving away, everyone else.
11 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

it all looks like what had been [04 Jul 2009|02:15pm]
I looked out the window and finally noticed a surveillance camera planted on the building across directed right at me. Then I noticed another several feet away pointed in the same direction at me, and when i saw more on different buildings all pointed at me I realized who these cameras were for, and that this was the only spot "they" could find to put them. I was being spied on for that incident the day before when I attempted to communicate with the lonely poor man (which Jordan encouraged me to do). I uselessly throw a towel up to cover the window but it wouldn't stay and fell to the ground. Though they thought there was some reason to watch me, there really wasn't. Then men who appeared at first to be firefighters were lowered from the sky on ladders and immediately begin to dismantle these cameras (and I think those giant stage lights on the roof). They waited until i noticed the cameras before doing this, then i was in a bookstore with my dad. i suddenly realized that this was an alternate universe and the apartment i was just in wasn't actually my apartment but was set up to trick me into thinking i was at home. this was really my dad, and i yelled at him "NOTHING HERE IS REAL BUT IT ALL LOOKS LIKE WHAT HAD BEEN!" I wanted to use the word "post-modern" to him but this was real life and not just a book about theory. Now came the rejection of the world here. I threw out all the books from the shelves into a pile on the floor (it crossed my mind to put them into grocery bags, which i then realized would be contradictory). then two different editions of the same book were thrown in the pile: Numbers by Nino Rota and someone else I don't recall. Gershwin's "Summertime" began to play and i was compelled to pick up the smaller paperback of Numbers to read later. These had been my Dad's books. Then I drank water from a fountain and one of the "firefighters" threatened to shoot me in order to save water for the cat, but he didn't. What had I done wrong contacting the old lonely man?

(a dream. i don't think nino rota wrote books)
be elusive, but don`t walk far

[04 Jul 2009|02:13pm]
Gawd, i love bikes.

My love interest is not as responsive as he used to be. he used to write me nice things. like "pillow smells like you. mmm" and "i like your part of my sleep cycle". stupid, i know, but i was pretty smitten, but i guess he is halfway between my age and my dad's age. no, that just makes things uber interesting. gawd, what a hawtie. i suck at "love" though. but i really am not as broken hearted as i usually am when a guy drifts away. i usually recover in a few weeks to a few months, after listening to tom waits and sleeping a lot, but i am trying to separate myself from notions of love from disney movies. but it is a lovely thought that it could last a while. today four of my friends and i met up to go out to eat, and we began talking about our parents, and we noticed that all of our parents were divorced. yeah the divorce rate is high, i think this indicates that marriage is not the answer. i like to take that erich fromm stance (yeah, advice from a new age ...intellectual) that long term love should be thought more of as a business deal instead of a magic spiritual experience.
1 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

[16 Jun 2009|06:37am]
4 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

miss Corrigan [15 May 2009|05:24pm]
My 2nd grade teacher came to my work to buy "Japanese tea" a couple days ago. She was a very special person to me. I usually loved all my teachers, but I think we had especially bonded. I guess in a way I was always afraid of running into her, and for her to find out that i really didn't do anything with myself. I guess I don't know why i flattered myself into thinking she would remember me. but she was a big deal to me when i was 7.

she let me skip the handwriting exercises and play on the computer instead (which i'm pretty sure the other kids resented) and recommended books to me (eg: anastasia krupnik)

i wouldn't have recognized her but when i read her name on her credit card, i asked if she taught 2nd grade. i told her my name, and she claims to have remembered me, said i was really smart, and rushed out immediately. so that was that, 2nd grade teacher kinda remembers me 18 years later.

i think my blind boss caressed my arm waaaay too long today at work. more on that story never. gawddamnit

anyone wanna go to "transmission" tonight at the fine line? joanie left me.
1 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

the hawtness [08 May 2009|02:15pm]

this guy (carlos d with spikes) is going to break my heart. i met him the same night i met information society, i'm smitten. this is a picture a score+ old that i found of him on teh internets. i googlestalk

also, i love living with joanie, she gets me out of my house so i don`t stay at home staring at a wall all day.

that`s all, i`m working actually now. and my boss is blind so he doesn't know i am on my fookin blog, wtf is my problem.

and i'm not sure if this housewarming party will happen before we move out. joanie and i were thinking about having droogs over anyway on sunday night.

i sang (NO, "sang") "bus stop" by the hollies with k-la the other night at grumpy's karaoke. grumpy's has a lot o` good songs.

might go to a show with joanie tonight of her friend's band at stassiu's (SP?!?!OMG)

5 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

abridged entry [29 Mar 2009|06:50pm]
dear diary,
kurt harland larson picked me up on stage last night.

and paul robb made a "shout out" to me on kfai's across the board thursday night. (at the 1 hour and 44 minute point.): http://www.kfai.org/node/18802

what the eff.

more later when i'm done freaking out.


p.s. zomg, the most epic of shows!
10 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

hamster man [22 Mar 2009|12:52am]

there i just saw mindless self indulgence finally. i was hoping to get to first ave just after the opening acts, and hope that i would get there just in time for msi. this is exactly what happened. and i got on the guest list at the last minute thanks to a nice friend, and alas, i was surrounded by 16 year olds. oh well, it was a good show itself, jimmy doesn't stop moving, and i dont know if he is being sarcastic when he makes fun of the audience? no encore though. i love the synth bits, and he does have a great voice and has this thing about him where he is so fucking annoying but so endearing at the same time. actually he reminds me of a hamster. cute, little, messy, probably bites sometimes, squirmy. i think that was a pretty good metaphor. i had a hamster once, but named him isiah after isiah thomas (cuz i thought he was cute when i was 11!)
3 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

omfg information society minneapolis one week [21 Mar 2009|01:14am]

Our favorite Minneapolis boys are returning to Minneapolis (cuz they are in Cali and Portland now) to play a show at the Varsity. So, if anybody asks what you are doing on Saturday, make sure you remember that you are going to the Varsity to see Insoc, do not make other plans, they have not been here for I don`t actually know, but I think 16 years or something bloody crazy like that. So engrain it in your head now, Information Society - Saturday March 28. Actually here, buy your ticket now, or get it at the Loring Pasta Bar tah tah tah-day, and don't tell anybody you don't own fucking 'peace & love, inc'   ;) was that too capitalistic for you? oh well, here's more, the show is not being advertised well, i think i am the sole person hanging up flyers around town (because i haven't seen any flyers around except for the places i hit) and it's much too expensive for the promoter to advertise in newspapers and radio (except jack 104 or something?) so... tell your friends who care too.


oh and cuz this is my blog, i biked into a giant pothole on 28th street by the hospital and flew pretty hard, i'll have to post my bruises once i find a usb cable from phone to computer. this is a psa to watch for potholes, even if you see them coming like i did and think you can handle it, maybe you might fly. and the cars don't care.

that's all i got for now,
be elusive, but don`t walk far

i`ve got to write it down and it won`t be forgotten... [01 Jan 2009|11:23pm]
samuel delany webcast

walker is playing derek jarman's movies late february

jessica j!!: elizabeth peyton paintings at the walker...february 14 remember how hard it was to order her book 10 years ago and now you can see them in person

Labyrinth · Jan 24 at the uptown

Let the RIght One In at the riverview theater tah-tah-tahday til the 8th (think i'm going on friday?)

Information fookin' Society at the Varsity Theater. Tickets will go on sale (approximately) 01/03/09 @ LORING PASTA BAR $20 Advance, $25 door

scott weiland jan 31 at pantages , whooooo,

de/vision and seabound at ground zero january 9 $20 or something , blah, 2 bands coming from germany though?

and many more things i cannot quite afford!!...
8 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

ah!@ [19 Nov 2008|02:14am]
quick entry since my roommate is trying to sleep in this room since her attic room is the temperature of your refrigerator (and so is my room incidentally--there is a hole where the wall meets the window, lame):
let me be the first to tell you that information society is indeed coming to minneapolis in march to the varsity theater. i JUST found out. (the show jeni and i were going to go to in florida got cancelled anyway).
i am quite giddy and ready to die now, i am so happy.
2 million peoploids| be elusive, but don`t walk far

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